Be Still and Know That You Know

God uttered “relationships.”

Also vocalized was ‘there is a moment and a season for everything under heaven.’ Indicating this season of what I perceive as an impasse, God sees as a respite and refresh in Him.

I don’t know what the next seconds hold, but I do know that Jesus lovingly grips me up and guards my thighs.

He is my resting place. I query the next move.

In the waiting I discover abundance, His riches, and his peace that passes anything I will ever realize.

He’s summoning me to the hammock of grace, yet again. 🙂

To sway on and let Him blanket me.

Rising helix of understanding, That God is my portion; in this I find ease.

In returning to God and rest I will be kept, in hush and secure confidence Jesus is my strength.

Isaiah 30:15

Take Ownership!

I am thankful that I live in a nation where I am not killed for the faith I have.

I want to visit China again, my heart strings are tethered to that country have been sense 2001.

Firsthand I witnessed some of the most beatific places and people on earth in daily life and so on.

The middle school aged kids were always throwing up the ‘peace’ sign when they took pictures with our team that was there.

It was endearing and so cute.

In recent years my heart has been heavy for the church family in China and especially the area I stayed.

In the US, freedom is taken for granted and the attitude of ‘victim-hood’ is mandatorily forced on the citizens of this land.

Humans have a high tolerance for misery; even when controlled change by a 3/5th s majority of the states to ratify the grievance comes about.

No, we won’t change when perfection and ‘equality’ is strived for when in this world the truth is there will be inequality.

The banner of ‘fair’ is molested for the sake of seizing the office of ‘public servant’ to harass the populace at large.

Statists go under the caption of ‘liberal’ to ‘constative’ none really the name they put fourth but most move in the direction towards totalitarianism.

I do what I can by writing those in power and voting when there is an election.

I’ll be damned if someone tries to keep me from doing so based on a panic or a threat.

They will be met with a stubborn high functioning autistic who isn’t stupid nor backs down and knows basic self-defense in more than one way.

True and lasting change comes when the individuals first in themselves decide ‘you know what, I’m going to be the change for positive’ and don’t take setbacks or ‘no’s’ as an answer.

They become the solution and as more through love of others and basic human decency form a whole that is better than the one before.

All of this is to say, each one of us can choose to stay stuck and a victim sucking at the breast of the problem, or we can choose victory and make a difference for the betterment of all.





Found Faithful

To live is Christ to die is gain, I leave nothing here to my name.

My wealth kept in stores on high, Memories of God work in life.

Though beaten raw, I love them still.

God’s Care employed within His will.

He is God


The job that I’d applied for fell through. Months of interviews and hoops jumped through sense November of 2015 to this past month.

Disappointment is bitter, in the case of those that have their hearts set on God it’s bittersweet. 

I sobbed my eyes out-but I didn’t stay there.

I gave the disappointment to God, He knows what He is doing, His Ways are not my ways, His Thoughts are Higher then mine.

I’m finding that isn’t not setbacks that paint the days that we have, but our reactions to set backs.

I was angry, bitter sobs chocking my pillow and crying out to God.

No words were needed.

Why would He lead me that far to allow it to slip away?

So-I gave it to Daddy God.

It’s OK to cry to sob.

But I’m not called to say there, in grief.

My computer stopped working at the same time this was happening.

So I posted from my brother’s ipad some thoughts and reflections regarding what to do from that point forward.

There are worse things that happen, and thank God that He has matured me to the point of handing all things over to Him.

It is well with my soul.

He is God-He is faithful like no other. He is God-I refuse to serve another. He is God-I declare in awe and wonder. He is God.  -Roy Fields Lyrics

Choose God, Choose Life

As the days go by we choose how we spend out life breathed time. every human on the face of planet earth…

Each person shows the handwork of God almighty, the heavens declare His Glory…Both those that believe and follow Him and those that choose not to…

The God like ability to be self aware, to reason, to choose…Is a gift every single one of them…

God is simple and yet profound awesome and loving, Holy Awesome and full of a Holy Jealously…There is no high like the Most High 😀

I’m telling you God is so Good! Ask and receive the entirety of who Jesus is who the Holy Spirit is…Out of our belly’s come rivers of living water, that water that Jesus spoke of that was from Him where we wouldn’t thirst nor hunger…

God fixed my car! It needed to be fixed, my father’s inspection wasn’t a big bill!

Praise God!!


If I could pour out the Spirit through this post, through these typed words…Can I just say that God has given me Garments of Praise in exchange for a spirit of heaviness, and Oil of Joy in exchange for a spirit of grief, beauty for ashes!

He moved the mountain of cutting my body to hell!

He saved me!

He is faithful, He is Truth in the flesh!

He is alive and well!

Grab hold of Jesus, He will not let go, even when you yourself want to give up! 

Stop Holding On and Just Be Held


Much thinking about the ‘fear’ of ‘big xyz’ falling where it may and letting the dust settle…Then I remember that I have a hope that isn’t meant to be kept silent or to myself, but shared person to person…

I have done my part and then some as a citizen of the united states IE. writing letters, calling people, being encouraging when I wrote and when I called but also presenting issues and what I believe to be the solution to them and wishing blessing from God onto those I wrote or called…

I still continue to do my part, but often am called ‘higher’ as a citizen of Heaven first and foremost…

Lately I’ve been in a funk, more lethargic then usual and the fight to even get out of bed has been difficult in the last two weeks, and I realize that when the basic things become a fight, that in my own strength I cannot take another step…

But allowing myself to be held by God and let go of the things that I am trying to keep together, but allow them to fall into place in God’s arms…

Isn’t it funny when you make the effort to truly change for the better that the uphill climb and the ‘get up and fight’ some days is just not there…

That lets me know that something is correct and to lean on the Lord even more…

This is a bit of an unguided ramble post and honestly I’ve been out of energy in the last few days…

refreshing comes from God and Him alone, and many days it’s minute by minute…

Let the pieces fall where they may and fall into the bed of grace God has prepared for you,

make time for God and fight for that time because once you get alone with God and even give an effort that is not that much when you don’t have the fight in you, He will lift you up to be refreshed (take as long as you need.)

Prayers for energy to get into God’s presence daily would be greatly appreciated… 

Thank you bloggers 🙂

From the bottom of my being I hope that each one of you find, discover and uncover the God of Israel, come to the knowledge and the Truth of Him who so loves you He gave of His life to totally change radically alter history and radically alter your own future into something that becomes beauty from the ashes you have now…


Oh Lovely, Beautiful Light.

Holy of Holy’s in line of sight.

Heavy Glory-that falls and runs.

Sweet Spirit-Precious Son.

Oil of Joy for pain exchanged.

Name above every name.

Locked garden of my Beloved,


We are One.


To God Only

Well, I have my voice back and funny enough I want to praise God with renewed vigorous zeal…

Am I a zelout? Yup, I am.

Am I in love with God? You Bet!

Am I a glutton for His presence?  Yes! 

I feel giddy, like a kid with a shiny new twig toy only in the kids eyes it’s a doll…

I love the God who gifted me with writing, with expression, with a voice, with compassion, with courage that only can be explained through and by God.

None of these things I did to earn, I just happen to have them as gifts!

What better way to express my heart to God’s Heart, heart to heart…

Then to use these gifts in silver and gold, and sing with my entire being, write with all that I am, use the wrapped lovelies for the lover of my soul?!

It’s funny that my voice would come back on Friday Shabbat, the sixth day of Hanukkah, and I am so overcome with amazement…

Each day in the quiet (forced due to the lost voice) I ‘was still and knew that He is God’

at one point I couldn’t hear (ear infection) and my eyes had pink eye…

It was misabural, yet in those moments in those days that I was at my physical worst…

I fell in love with God again…

My heart became and is that much more tender and aware…

to not take for granted, sight, hearing, and singing…

And to choose in love for God, to n0t listen to, sing, or see things that are spitting in the face of the One who gives these senses…

Garbage in garbage out is very true.

Thankfulness has been the thing to keep myself afloat…Only when I was weary, at my worst…Physically broken, not singing sucked…

Then the thought of: well what would you sing now if you could Hannah? (to myself I thought, well a freaking angry girl song) eh, not the best use of your voice, though your voice express it in beauty? (no, you’re right God.)

Many inner ‘talks’ with the Father God, and a humbling realization that yes Lord, I will only lift You up…not my issues up, not my gift up in self glorification…

Same with the music, movies etc…I watch and listen to…

So dear readers, in love I type all of this to say…

God is beyond anything I could sing, write, etc…there isn’t an ‘I’ in the story of Yeshua, it is indeed all about, and for Him, my story weaves it’s way into His…

But it makes a beautiful tapestry doesn’t it?  🙂

“If you lift up your voices, and call on the Lord He will come, and the nations will see that salvation comes from Zion.” -Watchmen lyrics from Paul Wilber



I will sing to God!

Despite all that happens around, 10,000 fall at my side 10,000 more at my right hand…I will sound my voice, and lift God high…Not just in song, but in my life as well…I will only observe judgment, and I will point others to the Most High God ADONAI, He alone is God, every tongue will cry His name…

I sing ‘Blessed is He who comes in the Name of the LORD’ along with many others…I might be marginalized, ridiculed and made fun of but what better place to be? For the Lord Himself went through much worse…

I’m used to taking social hits, but I count it all joy for in this I am not alone many others are giving there lives for God so some social backlash is fine by me…In fact, I’ve spent most of my young life trying to fit in and still was made fun of…

I’m used to it…before ‘anti bullying’ was ‘cool’ many of us including myself have gone through the social hazing ringer…High functioning Autism and all, I count all of it for the gain of my LORD!

I count everything accomplished lost, if it is without God’s Face, His Love then I don’t draw my next breath!

I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone, and ask folks ‘hey, do you know Jesus?’ your testimony of how He has changed your life isn’t something that can be argued away…It’s proof of His Love…

Share the Love of God today!

Free Indeed

As mentioned in another post – witnessing to people around you isn’t a formula that is complex.

From the nail shop, hair salon, faith-based store, coffee shop etc. God is everywhere don’t be afraid to speak up in an approachable manner IE. just be yourself!

It’s so satisfying to see the faces of folks when I share, it’s not about me it’s all about the God that set me free, and continues to allow me to be free indeed.

The scars on my arms used to bother me, now they just point to a loving God who sets people free from anything that is holding them captive. The good news is your part in the greater story of Jesus.

Into the highways and byways we go, and take heart dear readers, He’s overcome the world and then some!

Jesus has given us the keys and now while the iron is hot, strike…talk to people, they are starving for hope and they are unaware of it…but the atmosphere wherever I am when I do share my story, point to God, pray whatever is always 110 percent better then it was when I first walked in…

It’s not us walking in, it’s the Jesus inside of us that walks in! We should be in such communion with God, others to encourage those of us of Faith, and then ‘Go therefore’ not just stay in the bodies we are in and soak up the word but be hearers only and not doers of what God has called us to do…

For if we have been set free by Jesus, we are free indeed!!

Let God’s freedom ring! 

Just some July 4th thoughts… 😉