I Will Use My Voice

My bodies autonomy isn’t your commodity.

Get your hands off my kids, data gained mind biz.

‘Yuck-in’ shoehorned your way in,

My ‘Vote’ didn’t count, your ‘promises’ you flout.

Disregarding the discord your ‘Marshall Plan’ will cause.

VCHEW’ing out the righteous, all to Carlyle’s gaping maw.

Fool’s gold you’ve sold for souls,

Gutters blood of innocence untold.

Fuhrer’s emblem around your neck,

or is that fury’s ‘placebo effect?’

‘Devils that are’ don’t speak for me!

You and your kind, the ‘powers that be.’

Lioness of Judea within me ROARS,

Tiptoe tulips, your own traps fall sore.

Like it or not, My Redeemer LIVES

Unto Him Alone, my praise I give!

Every knee WILL bow and tongue confess,

From Atheist to Muslim with all the rest.

Governors and Rulers will crawl to God’s Throne.

Each tribute offered unto Him Alone.

I Charge You.

Don’t forget those that are suffering for their faith in God. This rings in my mind quiet often. Do not forget. I am thankful that I can go to a house of worship without fear of being followed or killed for it. I am thankful that I wasn’t lined up on a beach and executed for being a Christian.

I can’t forget other brother’s and sister’s for we are of the Body of Messiah, we are the Bride He is returning for.

Make no mistake, wherever God has called me I will go. More then likely and lately it’s meant dyeing to what ‘I’ want, and living for what God wills.

That is a kind of martyrdom too, only the intentional denial of self even when self is screaming blood murder.

I urge you fellow readers to come to the One who has open arms and kindness to you. I challenge you readers to stand up for what is right, not to change your moral code based on popular opinion but even in the face of death, you stand firm.

Having done all, stand.

Fight the good fight of faith.


who will speak for the voiceless

Recently I emailed the white house, I’ve written them as well and gotten a response. The reason I feel compelled to say (in this case type) something is that the fire in my bones won’t allow me to not.

Overseas in mass numbers people are being killed in unspeakable ways. Muslims, Christians, Women, Men, Children burned alive, limbs severed from their bodies for insane reasons, high taxes and or death if there is noncompliance and be-headings in the form of sawing off heads.

I have only seen about 4 years ago one video, and that one was all I needed to see of a beheading as a man screamed while having his spinal chord, voice box and neck sawed into.

After some bile was flushed down my toilet, I saw evil and didn’t want to see or hear of it again. To my shame I have ignored the plight of humans being killed off as it has grown in number sense that time four years ago.

Just because someone has a different faith, or they smoke a cigarette, or they don’t pay their ‘taxes’ etc. This is why they are in great numbers fleeing the hell they live in.

Who will stand up for them even if it costs the life we have? When did ‘Never Again’ become forgotten? It’s only been 70 years and the west is now plugging it’s ears and plugging into an electronic device to drown out the screams of the dyeing.

Shame on us.

The Quran is for violence

OK, well I sat through and have read about half of the 1000 some odd page book…and I can say that this is the dryest read ever...fell asleep to many times to count…

But, the section that got my attention: Al-Anfal aka. spoils of war, booty


PICKTHAL: When thy Lord inspired the angels, (saying): I am with you. So make those who believe
stand firm. I will throw fear into the hearts of those who disbelieve. Then smite the necks and smite of
them each finger.

So, if you don’t believe in Islam, your head is lopped off, your fingers are gone as well…oh wait you’re dead…


PICKTHAL: And know that whatever ye take as spoils of war, lo! a fifth thereof is for Allah, and for
the messenger and for the kinsman (who hath need) and orphans and the needy and the wayfarer, if ye
believe in Allah and that which We revealed unto Our slave on the Day of Discrimination, the day
when the two armies met. And Allah is Able to do all things.

How kind of Allah to order 1/5th of ‘spoils’ to be given to orphans and the needy…

By this point I’m going ‘wut’ because it made absolutely no sense at all…and none of those who are of the muslim faith follow the above batshit nutty verse ‘conveniently’ forgetting…


PICKTHAL: It is not for any prophet to have captives until he hath made slaughter in the land. Ye
desire the lure of this world and Allah desireth (for you) the Hereafter, and Allah is Mighty, Wise.

Right…so no captives until you freaking kill off an entire village etc…by this point I’m going ‘no wonder the crazy’ it’s dictated in the ‘holy book’

Just some food for thought…or not… :-/

An Interjection

Acts of Kindness,

Open eyes of blindness.


A cohort of power,

Civic foul hour.


Party-political opinion,

Lifeblood ideal pinion.


Oh cost, someplace gash?

Oh measure, spiteful lash!


Do they not care?

Do they not dare?


Please, don’t ask of news,

Anarcho-syndicalist red hues.


I standpoint temperance,

Or all at one.


I stand for Nazarene,

And fall for none.

Digital Numbers

It’s funny the small things that I remember…The digital numbers on the cross-training machine at the gym as the preset minutes tick by actually seem faster than a clock face…that is unless I’m dying my hair red again, then any time is slow

I know the calories that are burned are grossly off, but it’s good to work up a sweat and get out energy…

Speaking of digital numbers, since joining weight watchers, I’ve lost some inches, the scale did drop at first from 260s to now mid 250s but I’ve been bouncing back and forth between 250 and 255 for the last two months…

The reason is simple, I struggle with night eating, be it two apples too many or one carb that isn’t so great…it adds up…and I do log it into my points for the day, but the problem is clear…

I’ve decided to go through with gastric sleeve surgery, I’m hoping by the time I am ready for the actual surgery I’ll have at least 20 pounds off my frame from the last time I was at the weight loss clinic this past summer…

It’ll prove to myself, and to the staff there that I am committed to truly losing the weight…

There are some major hurdles: 

  1. I will have to stop taking my birth control for one month due to bleeding and healing during surgery, I’ve been taking my low dose birth control sense I was 26 years of age under a doctor’s supervision for PCOS management. (which means the mother of all cramps, periods, etc.)
  2. All my medications will need to be crushed and swallowed, or made into liquid form (I can get over this in time, ick factor aside I’ll get over it.)
  3. The healing of my new banana shaped stomach (oh boy), hopefully shall not be too awful…I will go back onto my birth control once again after surgery because again PCOS but on that note, weight loss should cure the PCOS in itself, so in time I won’t need the consistent dose of birth control as I lose weight…
  4. The water and food hurdle this one is actually major, a shot glass of water an hour…the food as well at first is going to be a challenge as far as going slowly (I do now but it’ll be really slow) but it cannot be longer than 30 minutes (yea it’s something to do with gastric dumping)
  5. My mindset is 200 percent ready to tackle each thing as it comes, and I’ve got ideas for how to keep myself busy…not obsessing over the weight loss, food bite sizes, one ounce of water an hour, not getting dehydrated, only taking a bite at a time but within 30 minutes etc. yea, it’s a long rear laundry list of things to commit to right off the bat, so I will be blogging more often and sharing my journey as this has proved to be a great outlet…
  6. Being kind to myself, at the end of the day once the new stomach is healed the food is tolerated, I’m able to start exercising again gradually, and all else this will be worth it…I’ve not been out of the 200 pound range for about nine years now, and as stated above now is the time to act, I’m in a healthier saner mindset then I was 3 years ago I process things better and am more self aware, and am teachable (learning things that I need to fix work-on etc. without taking it as a personal affront)

  Aside from the above, this is very doable, difficult yes, but doable…I am tired of being tired when I workout, no energy, and shooting myself in the foot with food and or lack of it…

I’m committed to health overall, and I don’t want to go overboard with the whole ‘OK now I’m at 170 something I could go lower’  at my 5’8.5″ medium sized frame 170 is overweight, but considering my past bout with borderline anorexia as a teenager I’m not risking it…

and as you’ve guessed I’ll be blogging about staying on track…