Well, I have my voice back and funny enough I want to praise God with renewed vigorous zeal…
Am I a zelout? Yup, I am.
Am I in love with God? You Bet!
Am I a glutton for His presence? Yes!
I feel giddy, like a kid with a shiny new twig toy only in the kids eyes it’s a doll…
I love the God who gifted me with writing, with expression, with a voice, with compassion, with courage that only can be explained through and by God.
None of these things I did to earn, I just happen to have them as gifts!
What better way to express my heart to God’s Heart, heart to heart…
Then to use these gifts in silver and gold, and sing with my entire being, write with all that I am, use the wrapped lovelies for the lover of my soul?!
It’s funny that my voice would come back on Friday Shabbat, the sixth day of Hanukkah, and I am so overcome with amazement…
Each day in the quiet (forced due to the lost voice) I ‘was still and knew that He is God’
at one point I couldn’t hear (ear infection) and my eyes had pink eye…
It was misabural, yet in those moments in those days that I was at my physical worst…
I fell in love with God again…
My heart became and is that much more tender and aware…
to not take for granted, sight, hearing, and singing…
And to choose in love for God, to n0t listen to, sing, or see things that are spitting in the face of the One who gives these senses…
Garbage in garbage out is very true.
Thankfulness has been the thing to keep myself afloat…Only when I was weary, at my worst…Physically broken, not singing sucked…
Then the thought of: well what would you sing now if you could Hannah? (to myself I thought, well a freaking angry girl song) eh, not the best use of your voice, though your voice express it in beauty? (no, you’re right God.)
Many inner ‘talks’ with the Father God, and a humbling realization that yes Lord, I will only lift You up…not my issues up, not my gift up in self glorification…
Same with the music, movies etc…I watch and listen to…
So dear readers, in love I type all of this to say…
God is beyond anything I could sing, write, etc…there isn’t an ‘I’ in the story of Yeshua, it is indeed all about, and for Him, my story weaves it’s way into His…
But it makes a beautiful tapestry doesn’t it? 🙂
“If you lift up your voices, and call on the Lord He will come, and the nations will see that salvation comes from Zion.” -Watchmen lyrics from Paul Wilber
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