How Wide is Your Love?

Thank you so much, Lord. Help me keep a spirit and outlook of praise while my dad plays the news 24/7. Father God, I choose to bless my dad and encourage his heart. Help me God, I’m trying to maintain a heart of thankfulness and praise amid the pain.

I hear Your heart Hannah, I will help you. I love you so much. Shine My Peace that passes earthly understanding. Your soul needs Me, come into My Rest, Into my Peace. Take upon yourself my yoke which is light, and not burdensome.

How will they know My Children?

God quietly whispers this question to the Hearts of those who will listen and obey.

My heart is breaking as I remember how it used to be: I walked among the crowds of worshipers, leading a great procession to the House of Jesus, singing and giving thanks amid the sound of a great celebration! Psalms 42:4

Jane Hamon Prophesy at Mercy Multiplied on Feb. 2, 2013

In truth Hannah, you are someone who knows how to make people laugh, how to break down walls. You are filled with Joy and daughter in truth that is how I’ve called you to be. The Lord says you have this nature about you that just disarms people. The other part of you feels as though it wars against you. For that, it angers you.

And you do not know what to do with that anger. At times you feel this rage inside of you that bubbles up and takes your joy. I want you to know, Says the Lord, I’ve been dealing with that time bomb.

Sometimes you’re even afraid of yourself. But, I’m disarming that time bomb and I am setting you free from a lifetime of anger and a life time of injustice. Says the Lord. That makes you angry and guess what, that makes Me angry as well! You can be angry, but not stay angry.

You felt anger was a wall and shield to you, but guess what? We have been disarming that wall haven’t we?! I’m delivering you from an inner anger and an inner rage at times the parts of yourself that you have hated you have ended up angry at yourself and Me. (God) and those around you.

This causes you to feel disarmed because you wonder how can I be so joyful and so angry at the same time?! I bring the peace that you will not just understand in your mind but one that ‘passes all understanding’ you are not going to have to understand it all to receive it all.

This has been a ‘sticking point’ for you. But why? (3x’s) I’m going to turn your question marks into exclamation points! You have a teaching gift and the importation of knowledge and the education process I’m restoring to you the years that were ‘eaten up’ by the enemy’s devastation in your schooling years. I’m restoring your love of learning, books because I have put the heart of a teacher in you.

You will teach in classrooms and also in living-rooms. You will not be afraid to sit around couches with people. As you share and impart you will tear down walls in other people’s lives.

You will be taken into churches through they were not always your ‘friend’ for a little while, I will bring people into your life that will make a way for you. Out of the place I’ve been teaching you, I will give you importation to share My Word and principles. You will have keys in your hands that will unlock others from the prisons they’ve been in.

I will restore you so that you can be a restorer, I will heal you so that you can be a healer, and I will teach you so that you can be a teacher. Everything I do for you I will do through you.

I’m breaking you out of the place of shame that the enemy has tried to keep you in. First of all, it hasn’t worked! I will cause you to feel good about yourself to feel good in your own skin. You’re getting a sassy new haircut, along with a sassy attitude. This is an external transformation of an internal transformation.

You will hold your head high and walk into a room whereas before you hoped no one would see you. Now you will walk in and ‘say’ see me, I have something to say.

You will have a ‘bad’ good attitude that will open people’s hearts. Don’t worry daughter too much about what your family thinks your transformation ‘should’ look like, but what I think it should be. (Says the Lord)

I don’t in any way want you to feel stunted by that. You will emerge like a rose, where all you’ve seen are the thorns. There is a rose attached at the end of them.

Gastric Sleeve

On the 31st of October 2017, I had a sleeve gastrectomy done.

This was after two years of deliberation and after 10 months of kickboxing.

When they reached my organs there wasn’t any fat in my liver or organs! That working out did something, it got me in shape to heal better and be prepared mentally and physically for this journey.

Granted I’ve gone from 100 mph to 10 mph if that, but it was 2/3’s my stomach removed for good.

This is a tool, a very powerful weight loss tool. It’s not the ‘easy way out’ nor is it a ‘cure all’ 10 years down the line I will be the 1 out of 6 that does not regain the weight because I’ve done the hard work beforehand.

It’s got to come from within you, the choice to live well.

The choice to say yes to not going overboard, the choice to not give up even after all else has been exhausted.

I did all I could in my power to get this weight off and didn’t come by this choice to have surgery overnight. And I’m glad I didn’t, it gave it time to sink into my bones the choice to choose health for life. 

I will say that God has been by my side to help me as I’ve been healing, it’s been hellish somedays. But on the whole, I’m day 17 post op and feeling more myself daily.

It’s weird to not workout like I used to but again I’ll get there this isn’t about a sprint but about healing well and getting good eating habits in place.

Heck good habits and attitudes in place.

The first year is like training wheels for your stomach and all else, it’s not a cake walk.

No carbs for the 1st six months to maximise weight loss. No fruit, 64 oz. of water a day, protein shakes to start off with and now I’m in the soft mush food stage.

100 grams of protein daily, 2 multivitamins, 3 calcium chews, b12 and biotin sublingual. It’s hard work after the ‘wow you’ve lost so much weight’ fades away and things return ‘to normal’ where is ‘my new normal’?

So as I’m finding my balance in this dizziness I just thought I’d update on how I’ve been doing. Pretty damn well, God is good and yielding to what He has for my life will continue to produce fruit. Taste and see that He is indeed Good. 

God Defines Me

There is a keeping of faith brothers who dwell together, one runs his course and passes off his baton off to the next runner. I was at a memorial service today and it was such a lovely thing to see a faithful life live and now to be known as he is known.

The biggest lie is that servant-hood is slavery. No, in service comes great joy which reaches deeper than feelings. Joy is shut up in the bones of those whom God has kissed.

Our life kiss back to Him is to tell upon the mountains the wonderful things He has done for us and the things freedom cannot help but express.

Even when nothing is said, light shines through and bears witness of God’s Love.

The plural many-sided God trumps the dull singleness of sin.

A life freed from the grave is worth more than gold. As a brand plucked from the fire is one on fire for the Lord.

All will come to see one soul passionately ablaze for God.

This Love is beyond written description and deepens with Him as a time to maturity for resurrected bodies merge with our souls in the age to come.

The reason beauty is worshiped is that human hearts long for that eternal beauty that crown of life awarded to those who run their race well.

The single lopsidedness and ‘depth’ of sin leads to death, hell and the grave.

Whom a person serves before they die, they shall serve eternally.

I personally know the struggle of the flesh and what it wants daily as Paul said ‘I’ die what I want I overcome by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony and don’t love my life to death.

What I want is daily nailed to that execution stake, I don’t turn my hand back and away from the plow that the Lord has for me but I press up and onward to the higher calling.

I challenge fellow servants, repent, repent; turn from your evil ways and turn to the God who just longs to love on you.

I guarantee you will be persecuted by forces that seek your elimination. But, greater is He in me than the enemy of this world system.

One repents as a lifestyle, as a life choice.

I refuse the allow labels placed on me to shape me. God defines me, He leads me. He rescues me. I breathe in His name and breath out praises to Him.

Sometimes only I can say ‘help God’ and I am enough and accepted by Him, I accept me. What others think doesn’t rock my world, only Yeshua has my heart rock solid on fire for Him.

God’s Tent

He who rolls out the heavens like a tent to dwell under. He who measured stars, galaxies, mountains, valleys and human hearts in the span of His Hand.

My Love is the One Who hides atop the mountain of spices, and I chase Him near the crest of the earth. He has a smile of warmth about Him. His hands urged me to jump into His Lap as a child their Father.

My Love ravishes me with kisses as I sing praise to Him. The One on High takes a lowly handmaiden and makes love to her in the night watches.

The owl sings praises to her God for the meal He’s provided her. I listen outside my window and hear the mates call to one another.

This is how I call to my Mate, My God, My Lover. I call to Him and His sweet reply is earth shattering.

To the song of all songs 

I fall asleep inside Your shade, 

Within in the arms of Yud Ha Vey.

Days and nights alike to You,

With each You paint the time anew.

Your glory falls and I sink in,

Plush inside and without end.

Endless thanks from my lips,

Kisses from the heavens drip.

My Eyes on Jesus

Sometimes, in fact very often, we must lay down things that tear us away from God. We can choose to run after God or continue to run after what held us back. For myself, it has been hard lately as far as an old friend from what I used to be, contacting them again and just slipping back into old thought patterns.

I knew this person for 10 years, and choosing to put this on the altar of sacrifice is honestly difficult as hell…

I long for and want Jesus more though, and it is worth it…It says ‘what fellowship has light with darkness?’ I am in the world and to pray for others around me, but not spend time with them as far as a friendship goes for if they don’t love the God I am crazy about it’s just not going to work and I end up sacrificing who I am in God. 

I’ve been struggling with lust, but have come to God again and again each time. Each time God has forgiven me, held me, told me He loves me.

That is something that humans will not do, love without conditions attached. And that is why I run back to God.

There is a fight, an all out war and it’s so obvious when I think about it because I’m passionately running after God and that isn’t A-OK with the enemy. (rolls eyes) 

All of this is to say, I’m human imperfect and flawed. But, I get back up I choose to get back up. Sometimes I can’t even do that and just cry out Jesus! Allow Him to carry me through whatever a day or moment holds.

I can choose whatever I want, but when the rubber meets the road I keep running back to God because there isn’t anyone like Him. 

Get Ready

God is on the move; He will have His way and His say.

God is on the Move!

God Bless America.

Beloved prepare yourself, the schoolhouse the collage campuses the white-house, penthouse and crack-house will not be able to contain the the anointing power of almighty God!

Yes! and Amen!

My Soul Longs

Your Heart turns over,

Your sympathy extends.

Your North Wind opens,

Your Wings sing me in.

Thank You God;

Your Heartbeat I feel.

Your Grip is snug,

Your Touch I steal.

Written this morning 7/19/16

 

I’ve been through the grief of losing my dog piled on-top of recent events etc. and just it’s been heavy.

God’s got me, He sews  me into His Side beneath His Wings.

Real life pain, God carrying me through this valley until I dance on the high places with hinds feet.

I earnestly long for others would take the time to spend with the Lord.

I want to share the Love He gives away so freely.

But we have choice, dear readers I encourage you to seek the Lord. He said ‘blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.’

It’s true, call upon the Lord from the depths of who you are.

These are not just poetic words, I type with a bitter sweet ache and tears of grief and yet a knowing that Daddy’s got me.