Thirty-Nine

“And I’m not afraid to go, but it goes so slow.” -Jeff Buckley

Am I doing the right thing? Am I even here anymore? 2019-2023 have been full of bloodshot eyes, tear stained pillows, countless ER and psyche hospital visits…

How the hell does my heartbeat hurt so much, why am I still living? Why is Jesus Christ protecting me from myself? Why do I overthink everything, overdose on sleeping pills 5 times in the last 3 years, suffer from mutism, catatonia, self harm to the point of skin grafting, burning my skin…

lit my heart on fire, boy you think you got some? Hell to you liars, living water-got none! The price of your head are the children ‘tween your teeth…the price of life, bends the knee…tongue and cheek, the ire of your day…bitten nose means stay away…

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